End of 2009: The Situation So Far

So I survived the Autumn term? It feels like it was a lot of hard work and effort to manage it but in reality it was only brief periods of intense effort surround by prolonged periods of procrastination.

I've not really found any of the individual assignments all that difficult, a fact reflected by the high grades I have been receiving. Much of my submitted work has been hurried last minute efforts yet have still achieved 'Distinction'. I can't help feeling this is just encouraging my bad habits!

The guilt I feel about getting grades better than I really deserve is worsened when I then see classmates who have put far more effort into their work but not achieved as high a mark. While this situation is nothing new (I was always at the top of the class at school) this is the first time I've felt bad about it. Previously I had celebrated my superiority, openly mocking those of my classmates whose efforts were greater than mine but achieved lesser grades. Looking back now... I was an insufferably arrogant prick.

I now know that the real lesson to be learnt was how to study, something which I failed miserably at and was soon brought home to me at A Level. Also I hope that I am far less of an intellectual snob than I was back then, or even since I started this course. I don't think I could now see my superior performance as anything more than lucky happenstance. I know first hand that a nice turn of phrase and a reasonably skilful command of the English language give you a huge advantage. It seems unfair that others in my class are being judged because they lack this, yet I know this is what the real world is like. A poorly written CV or application gets binned automatically in the same way that attractive female applicants automatically get interviews (and jobs unless they are completely incompetent).

I think this situation requires two things from me:
1. Put in a greater amount of effort on my work - This will mean I at least feel I deserve the grades I am being given
2. Help those of my classmates who have asked for it - I haven't ignored their requests by any means but I have tried to avoid getting too involved. Giving something a once over and correcting a few mistakes is a lot different from helping them to understand the reasons for such errors and working with them to improve their writing.

Spring term is fast approaching so I shall have to savour these brief weeks of respite before returning to a New Year of renewed effort and enthusiasm.